a bit of philosophy

"to be great is to be misunderstood" - this quote given by Ralph Waldo Emerson (in his essay Self Reliance) has always interested me. what does it mean? is he really saying what he means or as all good writers do, has he left it to the readers own interpretation? personallly, i think it's the latter. is he referring to the greats of his time? the initial interpretation of this quote puts in my mind thoughts of albert einstein or men/women like him whose intelligence made them misunderstood because their intelligence reached a level that few truly understood. but when put in context the quote takes on a whole new meaning that i never before saw. Emerson's essay Self Reliance encourages confidence and strength to know who you and and then live who you are. as life experience has taught me, my greatest qualities have been discovered in times when i feel alone and misunderstood. "great" has limitless definitions, it is not confined to only those who are smart, talented, wonderful, perfect, etc... i think emerson puts this on an individual level. sometimes you will be misunderstood for what you are great at. "great" qualities emerge in misunderstanding, self reliance is achieved through great qualities. so in my mind the quote is just as true if changed to: "to be misunderstood is to be great".

just a little late...

I'm fully aware that Thanksgiving was a week and a half ago but I'm just now getting around to blogging about it so... deal with it ha. My Thanksgiving was wonderful, despite being on crutches and painkillers. I got to spend the day with the people I love most and I got to eat a lot haha. I love that holiday... I'm one of those people that has a hard time recognizing the blessings in my life so when there is a day to force me to recognize those I like it. The thing that has occured most to me as I think about my blessings is that the Lord will never ask us to do something without giving us the strength and things necessary to achieve it. Now this may seem like an obvious principle to everyone but it's something that I really realized just recently. Everything I have in my life has been placed here to help me with whatever I've been asked to accomplish. I just want to thank everyone who has helped me throughout my life, I love you and I may not show it all the time but I'm really grateful for you and what you do for me :) I hope everyones Thanksgiving was as good as mine.

P.S. I love you Duke :)

i'm loving the freakishly lovely weather

as the title indicates, i'm loving this freakishly lovely weather. i'm not sure the last time it was this warm this time of year. anyhoo, here are some things i learned over the weekend...
1) little kids in halloween costumes are way too cute
2) people in scary movies are retarded
3) michael jackson is a little weird... but over all a cool guy
4) knee injuries are the worst
5) sushi is my happy food
6) leg braces may suck but there's a reason why i'm adviced to wear one
7) rooms don't clean themselves
8) life isn't fair
9) laughter really can be a cure for anything, especially self pity moods
10) i REALLY want a pug puppy
11) being victoria beckham is not easy (or comfortable)
and that my friends, is what i learned this weekend.

i'm back

a good friend of mine reminded me that i do have a blog and i should probably update it because as surprising as this is people actually care to look at my blog haha. i'm not sure what to say cuz like always my life is monotonous and nothing new and exciting comes my way. the year is flying by and it blows my mind to think that in a week from today it will be November... Where the heck does time go?? This fall is as beautiful as ever. that's one thing i missed so much in hawaii, the changing of seasons. i never realized how much happiness the changing of colors from green to red, yellow, orange, etc. made me until i didn't have it. I also never realized how much i grew to love hawaii and everything about it, including the floods and random downpours of rain haha. if there's one thing i would change it would be my ability to appreciate things in the moment. take in everything for what its worth and just love it then and there, not after its already gone. i miss hawaii, tremendously. it has claimed the title of the best 9 months of my life so far. i sure am lucky... :D i'm sure it'll be another couple months before you all hear from me again because i often forget to blog but hopefully i won't be so forgetful.

whoops

so i pretty much suck at blogging, it's been like 2 months since i've even looked at my blog. life threw some unexpected things at me within the last couple months and its funny to stop and realize that where i am now is not at all where i thought i would be at this point in my life. i go where the wind takes me and enjoy the ride. anyways, other than massage school there's really not anything new in my life. the unpredictability of life is what makes it worth living, at least thats what i think...

waiting

life is good for the most part... not too much to complain about, however, i always get the feeling that i'm waiting for something. i'm waiting for someone to be here, i'm waiting for something good to happen, i'm always waiting. what a waste of life right? right. i think i struggle with appreciating what i have in the moment. this whole waiting business has me in the mind set that there is something better coming along, but what if what i have right now is the best i just don't realize it because i'm too stupid to stop waiting. how do i fix this problem? good question, i have no idea. i could start by looking around and realizing that life is good. people i love surround me. i have an amazing bed in an amazing house that i come home to every night. i need to learn to tell the people i love that i love them now. i need to stop waiting and embrace my world the way it is because i doubt it can get any better than this.

Life as of lately

I've failed as a blogger. Life gets hectic and quite honestly this has been the last thing on my mind. Update: Portland last weekend. Among the best weekends of my life. I figured out that I'm secretly meant to live in the Pacific Northwest. My heart yearns for the green moss and the thriving night life of downtown Portland haha. In all seriousness though, it's definitely somewhere I would move to in a heartbeat.

One day at a time

A friend so profoundly reminded me today that joy comes in the simple things. I think I forget that alot. Sometimes it's so easy to focus on what's going wrong, what's not good enough, whatever... it kind of gets exhausting. Life is good. The world is beautiful. I have a family. I have friends. What more do I need?

just the beginning

I feel like I fail the blogging world because my life is not exciting enough to hold people's interest while reading my blog haha. There's nothing new or fun to tell and while I could make up some crazy crap to entertain you all, I'd rather not. Life is just life right now. I'm still looking for a job, well I need to start looking for a job, and I'm still stuck on Hawaii time so I'm up half the night and still asleep through half the day... Not the most productive sleeping schedule. The weather is actually nice today and I might just take a trip to my favorite place on earth. I'm out.

Home at Last

I'm home finally. It was a really long flight home and I'm dead so we'll see if I put another post up today or not. This is a monumental time for me, I'm finally home so I had to blog about it.

Change sucks

So emotions are running crazy right now. I'm kinda freaking out about leaving, I didn't realize I'd miss it this much. Everything is in suitcases and ready to go, except for me. I'm not sure why I'm afraid to leave or why its so emotional but I realized last night that this is somewhat a pivotal moment in my life. Before life had its complicated moments but over all life was simple. I went to school with the same people every day and the school year would end but I always knew I'd go back to school the following year and see the exact same people there. I had my set routine, school, dance, homework, sleep, and I did that everyday. Home was home, it was where I belonged and where I felt most normal but I realized that instead of consistency being the normal and change being the exception, it's flipped around with change being the normal and consistency the exception. Life is changing so much everyday, I'm not going home to the home I always perceived. I'm not going back to high school, to dance, to the same routine I did for years. I'm going home only to move out in another couple of months. After school is marriage and then children and a career... The only consistent thing is change. It's made me appreciate the small things in life that have never changed: family, good friends, my ability to dance, etc. Sometimes I just wish more things remained consistent...

Sad Goodbyes

So the time is nearing for me to move off campus. Most of my room is packed up and ready to go and as I packed everything I couldn't help but cry. No matter how hard or crappy the last 8-9 months have been all I can remember when I look back are the good times. The countless hours in the library with my good buddy Dustin writing essay after essay and studying my guts out. The killer trips into Kaneohe almost every weekend and the sometimes odd bus rides that accompanied them. Mundane trips to Foodland, not because we needed something but because there was absolutely nothing else to do. Classes skipped to go bum around at the beach (actually I only did that once and I felt guilty the whole time haha) Masa's comments that sounded Japanese and everyone's obvious laughter over it. Walking the beach at night, wondering how the heck I was so blessed to be where I am. Waiting an hour or longer for the bus and getting stuck in the rain. Laughing at people's faces as they looked in disgust at the caf food. Ordering pizza every freakin night for 4 nights in a row just cuz my roomie felt like it. Watching innumerable hours of Grey's Anatomy even though there were so many more important things to be done. Getting locked out of the room after getting out of the shower... The last 9 months have been a huge blessing in my life and I wouldn't trade one memory, good or bad, for the world. Aloha 'oe BYU- Hawaii

still waiting

6 more days and I'm home... I'm pretty sure these 6 days will be the longest of my life. But on a more positive note, finals are basically over! Ok, well technically I have a dance final tomorrow, but really since when has dance been considered a burden to me? (well besides drill) Speaking of dancing, I've been going crazy lately cuz I'm so anxious to get back in the studio and dance my guts out. It's unhealthy how much I miss it. Good thing I'll be home in 6 days.... Ugh 6 days.

My Last Moments in Paradise

I have a week left here in Hawaii. Moving here 9 months ago was one of the hardest things I've ever done, moving away from home and my family and friends. But as I look back and think about everything that's happened I realize that although it was hard and a lot of the time it sucked, I wouldn't have wanted to spend the last 9 months any other way. I've learned things about myself that I couldn't have learned at home, being in my comfort zone, surrounded by people that know me inside and out. In a short time I've met people that have touched my life and I've touched others lives. I've learned to stand on my own and make a good impression in everything I do because life is short and people move on and what they see for that short time is what they'll remember forever.