whoops

so i pretty much suck at blogging, it's been like 2 months since i've even looked at my blog. life threw some unexpected things at me within the last couple months and its funny to stop and realize that where i am now is not at all where i thought i would be at this point in my life. i go where the wind takes me and enjoy the ride. anyways, other than massage school there's really not anything new in my life. the unpredictability of life is what makes it worth living, at least thats what i think...

waiting

life is good for the most part... not too much to complain about, however, i always get the feeling that i'm waiting for something. i'm waiting for someone to be here, i'm waiting for something good to happen, i'm always waiting. what a waste of life right? right. i think i struggle with appreciating what i have in the moment. this whole waiting business has me in the mind set that there is something better coming along, but what if what i have right now is the best i just don't realize it because i'm too stupid to stop waiting. how do i fix this problem? good question, i have no idea. i could start by looking around and realizing that life is good. people i love surround me. i have an amazing bed in an amazing house that i come home to every night. i need to learn to tell the people i love that i love them now. i need to stop waiting and embrace my world the way it is because i doubt it can get any better than this.

Life as of lately

I've failed as a blogger. Life gets hectic and quite honestly this has been the last thing on my mind. Update: Portland last weekend. Among the best weekends of my life. I figured out that I'm secretly meant to live in the Pacific Northwest. My heart yearns for the green moss and the thriving night life of downtown Portland haha. In all seriousness though, it's definitely somewhere I would move to in a heartbeat.

One day at a time

A friend so profoundly reminded me today that joy comes in the simple things. I think I forget that alot. Sometimes it's so easy to focus on what's going wrong, what's not good enough, whatever... it kind of gets exhausting. Life is good. The world is beautiful. I have a family. I have friends. What more do I need?

just the beginning

I feel like I fail the blogging world because my life is not exciting enough to hold people's interest while reading my blog haha. There's nothing new or fun to tell and while I could make up some crazy crap to entertain you all, I'd rather not. Life is just life right now. I'm still looking for a job, well I need to start looking for a job, and I'm still stuck on Hawaii time so I'm up half the night and still asleep through half the day... Not the most productive sleeping schedule. The weather is actually nice today and I might just take a trip to my favorite place on earth. I'm out.

Home at Last

I'm home finally. It was a really long flight home and I'm dead so we'll see if I put another post up today or not. This is a monumental time for me, I'm finally home so I had to blog about it.

Change sucks

So emotions are running crazy right now. I'm kinda freaking out about leaving, I didn't realize I'd miss it this much. Everything is in suitcases and ready to go, except for me. I'm not sure why I'm afraid to leave or why its so emotional but I realized last night that this is somewhat a pivotal moment in my life. Before life had its complicated moments but over all life was simple. I went to school with the same people every day and the school year would end but I always knew I'd go back to school the following year and see the exact same people there. I had my set routine, school, dance, homework, sleep, and I did that everyday. Home was home, it was where I belonged and where I felt most normal but I realized that instead of consistency being the normal and change being the exception, it's flipped around with change being the normal and consistency the exception. Life is changing so much everyday, I'm not going home to the home I always perceived. I'm not going back to high school, to dance, to the same routine I did for years. I'm going home only to move out in another couple of months. After school is marriage and then children and a career... The only consistent thing is change. It's made me appreciate the small things in life that have never changed: family, good friends, my ability to dance, etc. Sometimes I just wish more things remained consistent...